To Whom May Concern/To all the parents and young adults from all over the world
This one's going to be for all the people out there, but especially for those who want to be a father or a mother, for those who already are, for all the grandparents and for all who just got birth a child. Since the past few years I've realized and I've been seeing most of the young girls are getting pregnant, most of the guys just want a girl to have some sex and leave her or just living like YOLO, but taking that phrase in a really bad way.
I want to tell you as a daughter I've been for my 19 years that being a father or being a mother is not an easy job, it's not like having a ball and just throw it, it's a hard work, is the most special art you could ever do and you gotta do it right. There's not a guide or manual that teaches you how to be a good one but as a daughter or son you've been, you just can imagine all the things you have to go through just trying to be one. Guys, don't just think of living the moment having some sex and that's it, NO, think of all the things you can do as the young adults you are, think of all the opportunities you're wasting just because you want to be "in" or have some "swag" -as I see you say-, just think of all the time you have to make some special freaking things in your life to be productive in order to build a nice future and have a family of values instead.
I'm not against of having a boyfriend or girlfriend, of course you can have one, there's time to all of that, but try to pick the best one and if he/she is not the best make sure is too close of being one. Start looking for guys/girls with goals, ambition, and an education, because twenty years from now, 'swag' isn't going to pay the bills. Try to pick a girl or a boy who treats you right, one who's good enough, a wise one, one who respects you, who loves you and who's responsible. But most of all, BE ONE, be the one you want to have, teach with examples not words. & in case 'having sex' pass through your mind, be responsible enought to have it. Think wise! Live your present but don't forget your future!
& to all the ones who already are facing the fact to be parents -not especially young people-, especially parents of some young adults or babies let me break the bar and get in your lives, your parents life. As I mentioned before, I know there's not an special guide to teach how to be good parents, but in life you get some tools and with time you eventually learn how to use it. For most of the children out there material things are not the most important ones, of course there are millions of things you can only have the access with some money, but the things we really need -as children and human beings- are priceless, material things are good for a certain time and purpose, the other ones I'll mention will stay for a lifetime.
TIME, I know in modern life parents got not enough time to be with their children because they're in a constant fight of having two or three jobs to survive and 'give a nice life to their children'. But there's always time for the ones you care and love and if not, CREATE IT, try to cherish all the time you can with your children by giving them all the love you feel for them, believe me, they won't argue and be dissapointed about it.
LOVE, one of the most important things or the most important one you could give to a child is love, a sincere one, let your children know how important they are to you, demonstrate the love you feel for them, don't ever hesitate to express an "I love you" or "I really appreciate the fact of being your mother or father", phrases of love, feelings that will never be forgotten, I'm sure they'll answer you back, they're going to feel special and reliant.
TRUST, in order to build some trust relations you gotta have time with them, talk to them, have a special COMMUNICATION with them, give them their space, teach them the good and bad, but let them break lines and learn from their own mistakes. It comes a time where you realize they've grown up, so let them have some friends and cherish the moments with them, let them have some quality time with the family they already picked (friends), but of course, as parents make sure their friends are good enough for them, I'm sure with the education you give to them they won't have really bad ones. Trust will help you to not be dissapointed with them because they won't have rooms to lie to you, and don't misunderstand my words, I'm not referring to 'liberty' is just time and space. Ah! Let them count their secrets to you and keep it, be trustworthy, give the best advice you can and build communication. Don't lie to them, and don't let them lie to you, teach them the value of honesty. Let them be.
EDUCATION, I'm not talking about school education or college one but home education, good manners and things that you just learn at home, try to build some good climate at home, some parents just let the school and pretend it will give their children all they need, and NO, things don't work like that, there are things you only learn at home, parents education is more valuable than others, raise them to be people of changes, people of values, people that will be a good example to other ones.
I don't ask for perfect parents, there are not any of them in the whole world, but parents who accept the challenge and win, it's not an easy task but it's not that hard, use the tools you already have in a wise way. Never give your child to another person to raise him up, in my case I've been raisen up with my grandmother but parents are still there too, and I don't refuse and will never do that fact, because I'm thankful for all she gave to me, but please, don't ever do it. Raise up with own parents is the best gift a child could ever had. And PLEASE, always think what you do can affect your children in some ways or so many, act wise.
Practice that and you'll raise up very clever children! Don't ever forget it! I hope this one help all the people out there to be better.
From the bottom of all my experiences,
Kissairis M. Basora M.
